


Nothing but the Facts

by Adm_Hawthorne



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 22:04:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1581074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adm_Hawthorne/pseuds/Adm_Hawthorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles were tracking a lead that had them traveling to Storybrooke? This is totally a crack sort of thing, and, though there's a story here, it's all dialogue because I'm getting lazy in my old age. Post-Second Curse and some time has passed us by. No Robin. No Hook. Just the girls. SQ is happening. Rizzles if you squint. Lots of humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing but the Facts

**Author's Note:**

> Once Characters aren't mine. They belong to ABC, Disney, and other assorted entities of importance. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.
> 
> R&I Characters aren't mine. They belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, Jan Nash, Warner Brothers, and other assorted important people. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.

Regina Mills: Do you have any idea who you're speaking to?

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, a royal pain in the...

Maura Isles: Jane. We're very sorry, Madam Mayor. We understand that we're taking precious time out of your no doubt very busy schedule to speak with us regarding this case.

Regina Mills: Indeed. Now, what is it you'd like to know that you can't get from our sheriff?

Jane Rizzoli: We were wondering if you've ever heard of a man named August Booth. Sheriff Swan said she didn't have any record of him, but she did say that you'd been here the longest of anyone in town she personally knew, and she recommended we come speak with you.

Regina Mills: Did she?

Maura Isles: Yes. The Sheriff was very helpful, but, unfortunately, she didn't have any information that could help us.

Regina Mills: And why are you looking for this man?

Jane Rizzoli: We can't discuss the specifics at this time.

Regina Mills: I see. Well, I'm afraid I can't help you Detective....

Jane Rizzoli: Rizzoli. Detective Jane Rizzoli.

Regina Mills: Yes. Detective Rizzoli. I'm afraid I've never seen this man before, and, despite the sheriff's rather twisted sense of humor, I'm not so old nor have I been here so long as to know everyone in this town. That's simply not possible.

Maura Isles: Given the number of people in this town based on the census we saw earlier today, you could potentially know everyone in the town, but it would take you approximately 30 years.

Regina Mills: Do you know how old I would have to be to even be able to come close to the number you just threw out?

Maura Isles: If you entered office at the age of 30, which the average age most cities and towns allow individuals to hold a mayorship, then you would have to be at least 60 years of age to effectively know everyone within the borders of this town assuming you became mayor as soon as you were of age.

Regina Mills: Do I *look* 60, Dr. Isles?

Maura Isles: Well... no.

Regina Mills: No.

Jane Rizzoli: Okay, well that was a giant waste of everyone's time. Sorry to have wasted your precious time, Madam Mayor. Dr. Isles and I appreciate you taking a few minutes for us, and we're just going to go.

Regina Mills: And when will you be leaving town?

Jane Rizzoli: Probably here in a few. We're going to ask a few more people in town about this Booth guy, but I want to be back in Boston before it gets too late. Why do you ask?

Regina Mills: Just wanted to wish you a safe trip back home, Detective. Now, if you'll excuse me?

Maura Isles: Of course. Again, thank you, Ms. Mills, and best of luck on your re-election efforts.

Regina Mills: Thank you. I normally don't have an issue with keeping office. It's practically like magic how many times I've been re-elected.

Jane Rizzoli: Oh yeah? And how many times is that?

Regina Mills: According to the sheriff, since the dawn of time, and I would love to get into the details of my history in office, but I really must ask you to leave. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes, and I must get ready for it.

Jane Rizzoli: Right. Well, thanks again.

Maura Isles: Yes, thank you.

Regina Mills: Of course. I'm sure you can see yourself out.

* * *

 

Regina Mills: Those two women from Boston came snooping around my office today. I understand I have you to thank for that.

Emma Swan: I figured you'd be the best person to send them to.

Regina Mills: And why is that?

Emma Swan: If anyone is good at forcing people to leave some place they think they want to be and go somewhere else, it's you.

Regina Mills: I assume you think that was funny?

Emma Swan: I do because it was. Do you want me to help you with anything?

Regina Mills: No. I'd rather not burn the house down while we're cooking.

Emma Swan: Hey! I can cook now, and I know you know I can cook because you're the one that gave me the memories that taught me how. But, you know, if you don't want me to cook, I'd be happy to put my hands to work doing other things while we wait for the food to bake.

Regina Mills: You could... Answer the door.

Emma Swan: What?

Regina Mills: The door, Emma. Someone is knocking at the front door, and Henry has a key. Can you go see who it is?

Emma Swan: Fine, but this isn't over. I'll be right back.

Regina Mills: Do hurry, dear.

Emma Swan: Back in a flash! Oh, Detective Rizzoli? Dr. Isles? I thought you two had left town.

Jane Rizzoli: And I thought the mayor lived here.

Emma Swan: She does.

Jane Rizzoli: ...

Emma Swan: ...

Maura Isles: ...

Regina Mills: Emma? Sweetheart, who is at the... door? Oh, Detective Rizzoli, isn't it?

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah.

Regina Mills: What can we do for you now, Detective?

Jane Rizzoli: Well, I was going to ask you if you'd mind explaining why there are no records of any other mayor but you in Storybrooke, but now I'd like to add on to that what is going on with the two of you.

Emma Swan: What has that got to do with your investigation?

Jane Rizzoli: Everything if the two of you are involved and it's creating a conflict of interest to my investigation.

Regina Mills: Am I or the sheriff suspects in whatever it is you're investigating?

Jane Rizzoli: ...well, not right now.

Regina Mills: Then I fail to see how your line of questioning is relevant, and neither of us are obligated to answer your questions. Now, Sheriff Swan and I have been exceedingly cordial in offering whatever help we can to you, but our hospitality is about to wear thin, Detective, if you insist on continuing to treat us as if we're suspects in a case regarding someone none of us know.

Maura Isles: But we have reason to believe you do know him.

Emma Swan: Where would you get that idea?

Maura Isles: Because, when we asked around at Granny's Diner, a young boy said that he knew Mr. Booth.

Emma Swan: And who was that?

Jane Rizzoli: Your son, Henry.

Regina Mills: Our son Henry knows an August Booth. In fact, he knows him well. Occasionally, he watches the boy when his farther, Marcos, needs a break.

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, that's what he said, but the odds that some random kid has the same name of the guy we're looking for is pretty small. Is this kid Booth's son?

Regina Mills: Did I stutter, Detective? Marcos is August's father.

Maura Isles: He must have had his son very late in life.

Emma Swan: Yeah, you could say that.

Jane Rizzoli: And what about the mother?

Regina Mills: She's a nun.

Emma Swan: What?! What... er... yeah... yeah. Yes. She... it's complicated.

Jane Rizzoli: A nun? Last I checked, nun's don't have sex, so how did that work, exactly? Some kind of Immaculate Conception or magic or something?

Regina Mills: Marcos adopted his son from a woman who was trying to give the boy his best chance at life, and then she went into the nunnery. You can find her at the church on the corner. She's now the Mother Superior there.

Maura Isles: She moved rather quickly through the order.

Regina Mills: I'm not Catholic. I have no idea how she came into that position.

Emma Swan: Look, it's getting late. Our son will be home soon, and dinner's probably close to getting burned. Unless you two have something else you want to accuse us of, I think you should probably go. If we hear anything about this guy, I'll shoot an email or call you or something, okay?

Jane Rizzoli: Fine, but, if I find out anything else that leads us back here, I'm not going to stop digging around until I figure out whatever it is you're hiding.

Regina Mills: At present, I'm hiding my disdain for your complete lack of consideration for my family's personal time.

Maura Isles: Thank you again for your time, ladies.

Jane Rizzoli: Maura, I... fine. Fine. I'm sure we'll see each other again.

 

* * *

 

Regina Mills: You again, Detective? I thought you were leaving town.

Jane Rizzoli: I was going to leave town, but then I found Booth's motorcycle sitting in the parking lot of the local mechanic's shop.

Regina Mills: Is that so?

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, that's so. We're not leaving until you we find out what's going on in this town.

Regina Mills: And so you decided the most prudent course of action in making this determination was to accost me at the door to my office?

Jane Rizzoli: Look, Madam Mayor, I know you're hiding something, and I'm going to find out what it is. Booth's motorcycle being in this town is no coincidence.

Regina Mills: Are you suggesting I'm creating some kind of cover up or conspiracy to prevent you from moving along in your little investigation?

Jane Rizzoli: I'm not suggesting it. I'm saying it. I don't know how or why, but I know you're blocking me from finding out the truth, and the fact you're sleeping with the sheriff of this town tells me that you have the means to do a good job of covering whatever this is up.

Regina Mills: My personal relationship with Sheriff Swan is of no concern to you. It hasn't bothered the people of this town. We both continue to be reelected to office, so I suggest you sniff around some other tree in your fruitless efforts to find fault with me. I am not the one who is having difficulty doing their job, and I'm certainly not paid by the good people of this town to do yours, Detective. However, if you're so bent on insisting there's a cover up going on, might I suggest you actually talk to our local mechanic and ask him where he got the motorcycle before starting to point fingers and address blame?

Jane Rizzoli: I can't find him, and no one seems to know where he is.

Regina Mills: Really? Well, I'm sure he'll show up sooner or later. Don't look at me that way, Ms. Rizzoli. I am not the keeper of every individual's time in this town. I am responsible for exactly three people's personal time here.

Jane Rizzoli: And who would that be?

Regina Mills: Not that it's any of your business, but that would be my son, my partner, and myself. Speaking of partners, where is yours?

Jane Rizzoli: He's in Boston working the other end of this case.

Regina Mills: Not your working partner, Detective, your actual partner, that lovely honey haired doctor that's been trailing along after you like a love sick puppy since you both arrived.

Jane Rizzoli: First of all, her name is Dr. Maura Isles, which I know you know. Second of all, she's not my partner in that way. She the Chief Medical examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and she's my best friend, not that it's any of your business.

Regina Mills: Indeed? And you're accusing me of being dishonest?

Jane Rizzoli: I'm not lying, and I'm not here to talk about my private lif...

Regina Mills: Nor am I, Detective. Annoying, isn't it? Now, I don't know about you, but I have work to do. As you seem fairly comfortable here at City Hall, I'm sure you can find your way out.

* * *

 

Emma Swan: Whoa.

Jane Rizzoli: Sorry.

Emma Swan: It's fine, just watch where you're going next time. What are you doing here, Rizzoli? I thought you and Dr. Isles were going back to Boston last night.

Jane Rizzoli: We were, but then we found Booth's motorcycle at the mechanic's shop. Actually, I'm glad I ran into you because you're next on my list of people to talk to.

Emma Swan: Next? I should have been first. Who did you talk to... oh, you went to the mayor, didn't you?

Jane Rizzoli: Yes.

Emma Swan: That explains it. She's impossible to deal with after you've ticked her off.

Jane Rizzoli: She's hindering my investigation, and so are you.

Emma Swan: Excuse me?

Jane Rizzoli: You heard me, Sheriff. You and the mayor are hindering my investigation. You know where Booth is, don't you? And you're keeping me from finding him. Why?

Emma Swan: Listen, Rizzoli, the only thing Regina and I try to hide from anyone is our sex life from both the town and our kid. I know Regina can be a pain when she's being less than helpful, but that doesn't mean she's trying to cover anything up, and, despite what you may think about my living arrangements, I'm not going to help Regina cover something up, either. I'm the sheriff. I have a job to do, and I do it. If Regina was doing something to put this town and its residents in harm's way, I wouldn't hesitate to stop her.

Jane Rizzoli: You really expect me to believe that?

Emma Swan: No because I know you won't, but that is the truth. Look, you said Booth's motorcycle was at the shop, right? Let's go take a look. Maybe we can talk to the mechanic, Johnson?

Jane Rizzoli: I already had my partner back in Boston run the plates. I know it's Booth's motorcycle.

Emma Swan: Okay, but maybe Johnson bought it, or, maybe, Booth dropped it off for some reason and never came back for it? Who knows? But we can go find out.

Jane Rizzoli: The mechanic wasn't at his shop this morning, and, when I asked around, no one seemed to know where he was.

Emma Swan: Which is why you should have come to me in the first place. I know where he is.

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah? Where's that?

Emma Swan: The hospital. He had his gallbladder removed yesterday.

Jane Rizzoli: How do you know that?

Emma Swan: You see that yellow bug over there? That's my car. It breaks down more than I like. Johnson and I spend a lot of quality time together.

Jane Rizzoli: At his shop?

Emma Swan: Yeah, at his shop.

Jane Rizzoli: Then how come you didn't notice Booth's motorcycle?

Emma Swan: You mean a motorcycle that's been sitting in the back parking lot for God only knows how long along with half a dozen other vehicles that never seem to ever move?

Jane Rizzoli: ...

Emma Swan: Come on, Rizzoli. We'll go talk to Johnson. He's probably not too drugged up to be able to answer a couple of questions.

Jane Rizzoli: I'm going to call Maura and have her meet us there.

Emma Swan: Call your girlfriend if you want. It doesn't matter to me.

Jane Rizzoli: She is *not* my girlfriend.

Emma Swan: Seriously?

Jane Rizzoli: What?

Emma Swan: Nothing. Whatever you say. It's none of my business anyway. You coming or what?

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah.

* * *

 

Regina Mills: Dr. Isles?

Maura Isles: Yes? Mayor Mills, how can I help you?

Regina Mills: I wanted to discuss something with you, if you don't mind?

Maura Isles: Actually, I was just about to meet up with someone. Can this wait? Perhaps after I've finished with what I'm about to go do?

Regina Mills: I'm afraid it really can't. Please? This will only take a moment, and then you can go wherever and I can sit down to lunch.

Maura Isles: Alright...

Regina Mills: Thank you. Please, have a seat. I hope you don't mind if I order?

Maura Isles: No, I suppose not.

Regina Mills: The usual, Ms. Lucas, and a glass of water. Thank you. Now, Dr. Isles, it has come to my attention that your partner seems to think the sheriff and I are hiding something.

Maura Isles: My partner?

Regina Mills: Detective Rizzoli. She *is* your partner, is she not?

Maura Isles: I suppose, in a manner of speaking, she is, but her partner is actually Detective Barry Frost, who is still in Boston. I'm here with Detective Rizzoli to assist her in evidence retrieval and to keep her company on this trip. I love Maine. I've always thought it was lovely.

Regina Mills: I assumed her work partner was still in Boston.

Maura Isles: Oh, well then what did you mean by that?

Regina Mills: You don't jump to conclusions very well, do you, Dr. Isles?

Maura Isles: I prefer not to guess or speculate.

Regina Mills: Just the facts?

Maura Isles: Facts have never failed me.

Regina Mills: Well then, in the interest of staying true to the facts, let me present a few for your consideration. First of all, your detective is making unfounded claims against both the mayor's office and the sheriff's department. Secondly, she has come to my home and made additional accusations without a shred of physical evidence to back her claim. Finally, she refuses to use the proper channels in order to gather her evidence, and, in doing so, she's creating rumors regarding my office and the sheriff's office where there wasn't even a hint of rumor before. In short, your detective is causing unnecessary problems because she insists on operating based not on facts but on suspicion and hunches.

Maura Isles: Jane has a tendency to react to situations.

Regina Mills: But you don't, do you? No. I think not. I believe you're the type of person to step back and evaluate a situation before you take action. Aren't you, Dr. Isles?

Maura Isles: I prefer to gather evidence before creating a hypothesis, yes.

Regina Mills: Good. I'm very glad to hear that.

Maura Isles: Mayor Mills, where are you going with this?

Regina Mills: I cannot believe you, the Chief Medical Examiner for the entire Commonwealth of Massachusetts, are here solely because you want to personally gather possible evidence and see the scenery. You could send any number of your technicians from the crime lab here should the detective find anything of value, and I can tell from the price tag of the clothing you've been wearing that you can afford a trip to Maine on your own time and expense.

Maura Isles: What are you saying?

Regina Mills: I'm saying that you took this chance to take a trip up with your *romantic* partner to Maine, and you are using this case as the excuse to do it, which is fine. Sheriff Swan and I have done something similar whenever I have to leave town on business. I'm not one to judge taking a moment to get away from your responsibilities to spend a little time with your significant other. However, *your* significant other is on the verge of being charged for harassment if she doesn't stop accusing me of things without actual evidence.

Maura Isles: You want me to stop her from asking questions?

Regina Mills: No, of course not. That's her job. I very much understand what a person in law enforcement has to do in order to do their job. What I'm suggesting is that you remind her that it is the facts she should be dealing with, not speculation. You, of all people, have her ear. I've seen enough interactions between the two of you to see that she listens to what you have to say.

Maura Isles: Jane and I are not romantically involved.

Regina Mills: It may not be physical yet, but you two are as bonded to each other as I've ever seen, and I have seen true love at its finest, Dr. Isles. So, do a favor for both your love and yourself and make sure she stops chasing the wrong targets. Because, if you don't talk so reason into her, I'll do it for you, and, believe me, Dr. Isles, you do not want that.

Maura Isles: Are you threatening us?

Regina Mills: No. I'm simply telling that I'm no longer amused with her antics, and it is time for her to stop.

Maura Isles: You are threatening us. Mayor Mills, you have no idea what Jane is capable of. If you're hiding something, she *will* find it.

Regina Mills: And you and your dear detective have no idea what I'm capable of if provoked. I would suggest you stop while you're still ahead.

Maura Isles: I think we're done here.

Regina Mills: I do hope so.

* * *

 

Jane Rizzoli: Next time I start asking questions you don't like, just don't say anything, okay?

Maura Isles: I'm sorry, Jane, but badgering a man who was clearly under the influence of pain medication is not something I'm willing to condone.

Jane Rizzoli: *Supposedly* under the influence of pain medication.

Maura Isles: Jane...

Jane Rizzoli: Don't 'Jane' me, Maura. There's something weird going on in this town. Can't you feel it?

Maura Isles: If you're referring to me following my gut, then no. My internal organs don't talk to me.

Jane Rizzoli: Don't be cute. I'm being serious here. Everything is just too... I don't know... It's too perfect.

Maura Isles: From everything we've seen, Storybrooke is simply a tiny town in Maine. The crime rate is a little lower than the average, but that is the only thing I can tell is even remotely far from what would be expected in a town of this size and in a location such as this.

Jane Rizzoli: See? That's what I'm talking about. It's *too* average, *too* perfect. Everyone seems happy, all the grass is super green, and even the dogs obey the traffic laws. It's like we walked into a fairy tale or something. It's weird, Maura.

Maura Isles: Perhaps you've been watching too many Disney movies when you watch TJ?

Jane Rizzoli: Okay, look. Just look around this room. What do you see?

Maura Isles: I see an older style inn room with furnishings that date to somewhere around the early 1980s, though they've been well maintained.

Jane Rizzoli: And when you look around the town? What do you see? What does everything look like it 'dates back to?'

Maura Isles: I'll admit that the town has a retro feel to it.

Jane Rizzoli: Right? It's like we walked back in time. This place reminds me of what towns were like when I was a little kid, and that was 30-ish years ago. Come on, tell me you don't think something is rotten here. No town is this pristine and well kept.

Maura Isles: Jane, what are you even saying?

Jane Rizzoli: I don't know! I don't know what I'm saying, but I know that I'm saying it's weird, and that mayor gives me vibes, Maura. There's something off about her, too.

Maura Isles: Vibes?

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, vibes.

Maura Isles: What kind of vibes?

Jane Rizzoli: I know you're mocking me, but she does give me vibes. It's like she's a little evil or something. She gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Maura Isles: Could it be that your personalities conflict?

Jane Rizzoli: That, too, and I can't believe she threatened me through you. She's like the Godfather or something.

Maura Isles: She seems very protective of her town and her family, yes.

Jane Rizzoli: And the sheriff is so far up her as...

Maura Isles: Must you be so crass?

Jane Rizzoli: Fine. Sheriff Swan is really attached to Mayor Mills in a weird, connected way that I can't even begin to understand. It's like they can read each other's minds or something. When we went to the mechanic's shop, Swan pulled her phone out and held it in front of her face for a good 30 seconds before it actually rang, and she didn't seem at all surprised that it was the mayor.

Maura Isles: They could simply be in the habit of calling each other a specific time or times throughout the day. We do the same thing.

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, but I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about them, all of *them*. The entire town.

Maura Isles: It's getting late. Perhaps we should call it a night and reconsider our situation tomorrow?

Jane Rizzoli: Okay, but I'm taking the side next to the door.

Maura Isles: Whatever makes you happy, Jane.

* * *

 

Emma Swan: I want to be irritated with you for going all Evil Madam Mayor on Dr. Isles today at the diner, but I'm too busy being amused by it.

Regina Mills: As you can tell, I'm incredibly relieved to hear that, dear.

Emma Swan: I'm going to pretend you actually mean that.

Regina Mills: Living in denial will only allow you to pretend for so long.

Emma Swan: And then I'll have to finally admit the truth, which, as we all know, is that I *am* the Mushroom King.

Regina Mills: I never liked him.

Emma Swan: Don't start.

Regina Mills: I wasn't the one who brought him up.

Emma Swan: We're missing my point here, which is that Rizzoli and her girlfriend are still in town. That's starting to worry me. They should have left yesterday.

Regina Mills: You know, they both categorically refuse to admit their attraction to each other.

Emma Swan: So did we, and you see where that got us.

Regina Mills: Living together and four months away from a wedding date?

Emma Swan: Exactly. I give them another year, tops.

Regina Mills: I'd love to take you up on that bet, but I'd much rather never see nor hear from them again once we get them out of our town.

Emma Swan: Yeah, about that. Rizzoli didn't really handle your threat very well. She blew up on me, threatened to get the FBI involved, and said something about taking off people's heads if she didn't get some answers.

Regina Mills: Taking people's heads was more the Red Queen's thing. She should find something more original.

Emma Swan: I thought your mother took hearts.

Regina Mills: She did. She was the Queen of Hearts. Keep up, dear.

Emma Swan: God, what is it with this family? I need a freaking flow chart just to know who is who and who is related to who.

Regina Mills: That is the price you pay for being royalty. Perhaps we should give the detective our family tree and let her wander around on that for a while? It's confusing enough to keep her occupied for a century or two.

Emma Swan: No. I'd rather not start having to really think about everyone I'm related to by blood and by marriage because then my relationship with you gets really weird.

Regina Mills: Fair enough.

Emma Swan: We need to give her a lead that takes her out of this town and away from everyone in it.

Regina Mills: Create a false trail?

Emma Swan: Yeah.

Regina Mills: Well, it just so happens that I can be quite good at doing just that.

Emma Swan: Really? I'd never noticed.

Regina Mills: I've told Mary Margaret I was sorry for setting her up for Kathryn's murder. I thought we'd discussed this already.

Emma Swan: We have. I'm just... I don't know. This thing with Rizzoli is going to get messy if we don't do something soon, and Dr. Isles is almost as good at telling when someone is lying as I am.

Regina Mills: That doesn't bode well, does it? Maybe we should wipe their memories and send them back with a false memory? That would be the easiest way to handle this.

Emma Swan: I hate using magic on people like that, though. It's so dishonest.

Regina Mills: We have a duty to this town and the people in it to protect them, Emma. Sometimes we have to be subversive about it. You know the outside world wouldn't handle the truth about us well.

Emma Swan: Yeah, I know. What if... what if we created a bill of sale for the motorcycle from a place in Boston that's now closed? Johnson could just say he forgot to file the title paperwork.

Regina Mills: Any place of sale like that would have the motorcycle placed in its name first before reselling it.

Emma Swan: Not if they were about to go under and were desperate to make a quick sale.

Regina Mills: I take it you know of such a place?

Emma Swan: In fact, I do. What do you think? Think that'd be enough to get them back home and out of our hair?

Regina Mills: We can create the paperwork tomorrow. It's worth a try, and, if that doesn't work, we'll have to wipe their memory. There's no other way, Emma.

Emma Swan: Okay, I can live with that, so long as we try something else before using magic on them.

Regina Mills: Hopefully that will work. Good night, dear.

Emma Swan: Night, Gina.

Regina Mills: Ms. Swan, I will force you to sleep on the sofa downstairs if you do not...

Emma Swan: *Regina.* Good night, Regina.

Regina Mills: Better, thank you.

Emma Swan: Anything for you, Madam Mayor.

* * *

 

Jane Rizzoli: What's this?

Emma Swan: A bill of sale.

Jane Rizzoli: Where did it come from?

Emma Swan: Johnson. After he came down off his pain killers, he remembered what he'd done with the paperwork for that bike that used to belong to Booth.

Jane Rizzoli: The bike's still in Booth's name.

Emma Swan: That would be because Johnson never filed the title paperwork on it, and the place he bought it from is closed now, so I'm willing to guess that bike was either sold too quickly to change over the title or it was hot.

Jane Rizzoli: I recognize the name of this place. The department used to raid it all the time for stolen vehicles. It was a chop shop.

Emma Swan: Well then, there you go. Mystery solved. The bike was probably hot.

Jane Rizzoli: And everything just gets tied up in a neat little bow? Just like that?

Emma Swan: For me it does. I'm not the one working this case. I'm just the messenger. I don't even know what brought you to Storybrooke to begin with.

Maura Isles: We gave you that information, Sheriff.

Emma Swan: Yeah, the 'Welcome to Storybrooke' postcard you found with his stuff, but who knows how he got it? Maybe he passed through on his way to somewhere else and picked it up for some reason?

Maura Isles: Perhaps...

Regina Mills: Whatever the reason, it's clear that none of us know him nor have any real connection to him. Based on the facts you've been presented and found on your own, wouldn't you say it's time to stop harassing my town and its occupants, Detective?

Jane Rizzoli: Don't think this means that I'm going to stop digging around, Madam Mayor.

Regina Mills: I wouldn't dream of it, Ms. Rizzoli. However, I expect you to do your digging in your own backyard from now on. The Sheriff's department has given you everything you need.

Emma Swan: As of now, we are no longer willing to cooperate with your investigation.

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, I saw that coming. Come on, Maura. Looks like it's time for us to go.

Maura Isles: I wish I could say it was lovely to meet the both of you.

Regina Mills: Let's not use pleasantries we don't mean, shall we?

Maura Isles: It's too bad. I'd have loved to spend a weekend here. This town is really very lovely.

Regina Mills: Thank you. I'd like to think so.

Emma Swan: When you're not trying to accuse the town's leadership of being conspirators, it's actually not a bad place to vacation.

Jane Rizzoli: Yeah, if you want to spend the weekend reliving the 1980s.

Regina Mills: There's something to be said for living in simpler times with a simpler way of life, Detective.

Jane Rizzoli: We'll be following up on this paperwork. If anything is amiss, I'll be back.

Emma Swan: Come back with a warrant, Detective.

Jane Rizzoli: And backup.

Regina Mills: Well, on that note, I believe it's time for you two to take your leave. Have a safe journey back to Boston.

**Author's Note:**

> No idea if I'll do another something like this. If I do, I'll just add another chapter here.


End file.
